Estate Planning for Non-Traditional Families
Standard estate plans are written for traditional families. If your family looks different, your plan needs to reflect that.
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The law of inheritance is built around the traditional married couple with biological children. If your family looks different (an unmarried partner, stepchildren, an LGBTQ+ household, or a blended family with children from prior relationships), the default rules may not protect the people you care about most. Without a carefully drafted estate plan, assets may pass to people you never intended and bypass the people who matter most to you.
Unmarried Couples
New York does not recognize common-law marriage. No matter how long you have lived together, an unmarried partner has no automatic legal right to inherit your property, make medical decisions for you, or take control of your finances if you become incapacitated. If you die without a will, your assets will pass to your biological relatives, not your partner.
To protect an unmarried partner, you need a will or trust that names them explicitly, beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance, a durable power of attorney, and a healthcare proxy. Without these documents, your partner has no legal standing, even after decades together.
Blended Families
Blended families, where one or both spouses have children from prior relationships, face competing interests that standard estate plans are not designed to balance. If you leave everything to your surviving spouse outright, your spouse could later change their will, remarry, and leave your assets entirely to a new family, cutting your own children out entirely. This is one of the most common and preventable estate planning failures.
Strategies such as a Qualified Terminable Interest Property (QTIP) trust allow you to provide for your spouse during their lifetime while ensuring that the remainder passes to your children at your spouse's death. Careful planning can protect all the people you love without forcing an impossible choice between a spouse and children from a prior relationship.
LGBTQ+ Families
While same-sex marriage is now federally recognized, LGBTQ+ couples still face unique planning challenges, particularly in families where one partner is not the legal parent of a child, where children were adopted, or where prior domestic partnership agreements exist. Without proper documentation, a hostile family member can challenge your wishes in court.
A comprehensive plan should include updated beneficiary designations on all accounts, a healthcare proxy naming your partner, a durable power of attorney, and a will or trust that clearly expresses your intentions. For families with children, second-parent adoption and explicit guardianship designations provide an additional layer of protection. A well-drafted plan also significantly reduces the risk of a will contest by biological relatives who may be excluded from your estate.
Stepchildren and Non-Biological Heirs
Stepchildren have no automatic right to inherit under New York law. If you wish to include a stepchild in your estate plan, or if you want to treat all children in your household equally, that intention must be stated explicitly in your documents.
The same is true for a close friend, caregiver, or anyone else who is not a legal relative but who you want to provide for. Without a properly drafted will or trust, the law will distribute your estate as if that person does not exist.
The Importance of Beneficiary Designations
Retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and bank accounts with payable-on-death designations pass outside of your will entirely. A beautifully drafted will cannot override a beneficiary designation that names an ex-spouse or estranged family member.
For non-traditional families, reviewing and updating beneficiary designations is especially critical. I review all accounts and policies as part of a comprehensive estate plan to ensure that every asset reaches the right person.
Every Family Deserves a Plan That Fits
I welcome clients of all family structures. I take the time to understand your household, your relationships, and your goals before drafting a single document. A free initial consultation is available. Contact me today or call 845 292-9345.
Serving Sullivan, Orange, and Ulster Counties and the Hudson Valley for over 40 years.
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The Law Office of Martin Hersh, Esq. assists clients with Elder Law & Estate Planning needs in Liberty, Middletown, Newburgh, Goshen, Kingston, and Wurtsboro, and just about every town or village within Sullivan County, Orange County and Ulster County in New York State.
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